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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378101">Self or Sacrifice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nasu/pseuds/Nasu'>Nasu</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Loki Odinson - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor - Fandom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Loki pairing, Mature Themes Later On, No Beta read we die like men, Slow burn fic, Writing after a long time</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 14:15:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23378101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nasu/pseuds/Nasu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki wasn't always this way, he knew love, he also knew the pain of loss. He thought she was gone forever after that day. Until he finds a hero among the Avengers that is the exact resemblance of his long lost love. Could it be her? No that would be impossible, the woman he loved died over a thousand years ago. Who was this mystery woman before him? And how does she fit into the fate of this universe?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Loki/Original Character</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Self or Sacrifice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is the first time I'm posting something I've worked an extended time on in a while. I haven't posted my writings on any site in a long time, and I only have one small ficlet on this account. If y'all like this leave a Kudos! And if it receives positive feedback I will definitely write more!!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>“When people think of mankind, they think of two halves: good and evil. A noble soul could sacrifice everything for their people. Or they could lash out in pain and destroy everything they hold dear trying to save it. Mankind is more than two ideals, we are more than black and white. And so here we stand at the edge of oblivion with nothing else to lose other than humanity itself. Our planet is dying and we are running out of time to save it. Rather than let go and fall into the black, I for one will fight until my last breath. I will give my very soul to save my family and my home.”<i></i></i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    How did it come to this? It is true humans were on a downward spiral and things looked grim, but we were nowhere near this. It started with legends, then superheroes, then aliens, and now it seemed Darkness itself was determined to swallow humans into the great nothing. Maybe we should start at the beginning when the heart of a trickster was captured by an oracle.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    Scandinavia 985 A.D.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    Another stronghold was overtaken by the might of King Hadvar. All surviving men and children were either executed or enslaved, the women were taken as trophies by Hadvar’s warriors to be servants or worse. Among those to survive was a young woman with hair as red as fire and eyes as white as pearls. She was dragged before the king, much like a prized beast to be put on display. One of the warriors held a dagger to her throat and yanked her hair back so that all in the mead hall could get a better look. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “What have we here? Quite a prize to be found in such a run down hold as Grenavyk,” the king crooned as he leaned forward from his ornate throne of silver and gold. Looking down at the girl was a shriveled old man, nothing more than a greying beard and a pile of wrinkles, wrapped in a silken robe. The girl glared up at the king with a defiant gaze as she struggled against the grasp of the warrior. His blade sunk into her skin ever so slightly, a bead of ruby blood slid down her pale skin to soak into the fresh linen dress she wore. Clothing like this was only reserved for special ceremonies involving the gods.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “Release me or you will be cursed,” the girl threatened in an indignant tone, she dare not invoke the names of the gods no matter the circumstance. The warrior holding her back tugged her hair roughly, enough that she growled like a cornered animal. The king stood from his throne and descended the steps. All in the mead hall were dead silent as he approached the girl. A crooked finger stretched out to settle under her chin so that he may tilt her head for a better view.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “Don’t be foolish, no man would throw a beauty such as you away. Surely you are a gift to us from the gods,” the king pauses, grinning with yellowed teeth, his breath smelt of ale and stale fish, “you will do nicely, my dear. For now, I think you will be a servant for my Queen. We will decide your fate by the next full moon. Maybe the gods will even ordain a sign for us.” The king raises his hand and gestures to a hallway on his right, “Have her cleaned and dressed in a handmaiden’s garb. She will serve the Queen personally. If she resists, lock her in jails for three days.” At the king’s order, the girl was hoisted to her feet and practically dragged down the hall to the baths. A pair of women followed after to wash and dress her properly.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “A handmaiden my love? I already have Sonja and Hildegard. I do not need another girl to tend to me,” a soft yet stern voice chides from beside the throne. The queen is a middle-aged blonde woman with sharp features and fierce blue eyes, as cold as the ice of the northern tundra. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “Do not worry, my dear, we must keep her close. There is no doubt that the girl has the blessing of Odin. It’s her eyes, see,” King Hadvar taps a finger under his left eye, “they say girls with silver eyes are gifted with prophetic powers, that they are under the protection of the Allfather and Allmother themselves.” The queen said nothing more and chose to leave for her chambers. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>--</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    After a thorough scrubbing to remove any grime or dirt and scented oils applied to her hair, the girl was dressed in a handmaiden's attire. The dress was a deep orange with golden trim along the sleeves and bodice. A braided leather belt was loosely cinched around her waist with an empty leather pouch attached. Her hair was brushed and braided into a simple plait. She felt more like a noble’s doll than her own person at this point. Her cut was also treated with a linen bandage wrapped snugly around her throat. </i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    The girl had been taken to the Queen’s chambers, where she stood in the center of the room awaiting her fate. All of her spitfires had been doused and replaced by fatigue and genuine fear. As long as she can remember she had narrowly avoided death, not knowing the value of her own life. She has lost everyone dear to her, first her family, and now the kind people of Grenavyk.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “If you were still covered in dirt, I would have mistaken you for a shaking leaf, little one.” The queen entered her chambers and walked past the girl to a vanity by the only window in the room. She placed her crown on the countertop and began to remove her jewelry. After a few minutes, she glanced at the girl’s reflection in her mirror, “Now, will you help me remove all of these baubles or shall I summon one of my actual handmaidens, hm?”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    The girl’s face grows hot and reddens to a shade similar to her hair. She quickly hustles to the queen’s side and begins to remove the ornate pins in her hair, many adorned with pearls and golden facets. As the pins come out the queen’s golden hair loosens and falls to her shoulders. After ten minutes or so the task was finished and the queen’s long hair fell down her shoulders and pooled at her waist. “Now then, what is your name, girl? I cannot very well call you ‘girl’ the whole time you are here. I am certain destiny has other plans for you than to rot away in the keep of some king you’ve never heard of.”<br/>
The girl purses her lips as her hands freeze in place, her fingers are still wrapped in the silken tresses of the queen’s hair. A moment passes, then two, finally she opens her mouth and speaks, “Felsi, your...your majesty,” she clumsily answers. The queen hums in acknowledgment and waves for the girl to back off. She pulls her hair over one shoulder and brushes it herself, something that was not usually common for someone of her station. Her ice-blue eyes pierce into the girl through her reflection.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “You will be assigned menial tasks that my handmaidens do not have time for. You will assist the servants of the hold in ways they see fit. My handmaidens are Sonja and Hildegard, I will introduce you to them in the morning. Tonight you will sleep in the servants’ hall and clothes will be provided to you befitting your duties for tomorrow. Understood?” The queen was to the point and precise with her orders, sounding more like a mother giving chores rather than a queen; she was gentle but firm in her tone. Felsi only nodded dumbly at the clear orders from the queen and folded her hands in front of her not sure how else to calm her nerves. “My name is Aslaug by the way, but for now ‘your majesty’ will suffice. Now, please leave, a servant will be waiting outside the door to take you to where you will be sleeping this evening.” The queen waves Felsi away, she was much kinder and far less repulsive than her husband was in treatment to her. It was almost a kindness with how she handled the redhead.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    Felsi only bows in response, choosing to hold her tongue rather than voice her answer. As she turns to leave she faces the queen once more, a curious look in her eyes, “Your majesty, if I may ask one question...why are you being so kind to me?” Aslaug looks up from her vanity and turns on her stool to actually face Felsi this time, resting her hands in her lap. She offered a knowing smile, but it did not meet her eyes. Her eyes were empty like the very ice they portrayed.</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    “I was in your very position eight years ago, my dear girl. I know every emotion you are feeling at this very moment,” she pauses and then her smile falls to reveal a blank face, “at the end of my story, I became a queen, for you either the gods will whisk you away or Hadvar will use you as a sacrifice to appease them.” Felsi stiffened at Aslaug’s final words and she began to shake once more. Real tangible fear, she could taste it on the end of her tongue. Aslaug turns back to her reflection in the mirror and waves Felsi dismissively once more. “It is in the hands of the gods now, you will do as you’re told until your fate is decided. To bed, for now, leave your fears for tomorrow and rest tonight,” the queen pauses and then looks at Felsi in the mirror, a warning flashed across her eyes, “you will need your strength for what is to come.”</i>
  </i>
</p><p>
  <i>
    <i>    With that Felsi gathers herself and leaves the room. A manservant leads her to the servants’ hall and a vacant room with a straw bed, an armoire, and a single chair by the window. After changing into her new sleepwear and folding the new clothes given to her by the other servants, Felsi laid on the bed. She felt pieces of straw poke through the bedding and prod at her backside. Exhaustion weighs out her overall anxiety about the new situation and she easily succumbs to sleep. That night, a vision haunted her dreams, a man with eyes as green as emeralds and black as night holding her hand. His smile was as bright as the sun, her only thought was she would do anything to protect that smile.</i>
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